Parents often say, “I just want my children to be happy.” But when we lose a sense of meaning, we tend to feel depressed. So, what is meaning? And why do we need it so badly?

Meaningfulness and happiness are not entirely different—they often overlap. However, meaning is a prerequisite for happiness: it is a necessary condition, but not a sufficient one. If meaningfulness alone were enough, people would simply choose that path and remain happy their entire lives—but that’s rarely the case.

In a survey conducted in the U.S., people were asked randomly about happiness and meaningfulness—without being given definitions of either. Five key factors emerged that influence both:

1. Satisfaction of Desires: People feel happier after achieving what they want. However, this has little to do with meaning. Similarly, good health increases happiness compared to being sick, but again, it doesn’t necessarily add meaning to life.

2. Time Frame: Happiness is often linked to the present, while meaning connects the past, present, and future. So, if you want to be happy, focus on the present. But if you’re seeking long-term fulfillment, meaning is crucial. Interestingly, empirical data shows that people who are happy today are more likely to remain happy next month and even next year.

3. Social Relationships: These are central to both happiness and meaning. We feel happier when we’re with friends, and more meaningful when we help others. For example, helping someone gives life more meaning, while being helped brings happiness. This contrasts with the old wisdom that helping others makes you happy—well, it does, because happiness and meaning often overlap.
   Parents who raise their own children experience a strong sense of meaning—but not always happiness—because children can be both delightful and exhausting. Parents who don’t raise their children often report feeling neither happy nor meaningful. We tend to feel happy when we hang out or have lunch with friends, and feel meaningful when we spend time with loved ones—especially when we care for them during hard times or make sacrifices for the relationship.

4. Struggle and Pain: People who have faced more struggles in life tend to experience more meaning, but less happiness. Difficult projects or hardships can add depth and purpose to life. While ups and downs may cancel out short-term happiness, they often enhance long-term meaning. So, should we seek out stress for a more meaningful life? Maybe not intentionally, but overcoming challenges often brings that sense of fulfillment.

5. Self and Identity: Activities that reflect our identity—things that express who we truly are—tend to bring meaning, even if they don’t always make us happy.

In short, if happiness is about getting what you want, then meaningfulness is about doing things that express who you are.