Aristotle categorizes friendship into three distinct types in the Nicomachean Ethics.
First, friendship of utility arises when people remain on cordial terms because each benefits from the other in some way—business partners, classmates, colleagues. These friendships last only as long as the usefulness lasts.
Second, friendship of pleasure is based on enjoyment. People seek each other’s company because they bring joy or excitement—passionate love affairs, companions from the same society or culture, or those with shared interests. Such friendships are emotionally intense but often unstable, as pleasure itself is fleeting.
Third, and most important, is the friendship of the good (or virtue). These friendships are grounded in mutual respect and admiration for each other’s character. Here, each person wishes the good of the other for the other’s own sake. This, for Aristotle, is the highest and most complete form of friendship.
But this leads to a deeper question:
Why do we need friends at all?
Humans Are Social by Nature
Aristotle begins with a fundamental claim about human nature: we are not meant to live in isolation. Humans are social animals (zoon politikon). We naturally live in communities, define ourselves through relationships, and discover our identity and purpose with others.
Even if someone possessed every material comfort, a life without friends would still be deficient. There would be no one to share emotional moments with, no one to deliberate with, and no space to practice moral virtues such as courage, generosity, honesty, or loyalty. Virtue cannot exist in a vacuum; it requires relationships to be expressed and tested.
Aristotle goes so far as to say that a person who can live entirely without others must be either a beast or a god—not a human being.
Friendship as Moral Practice
For Aristotle, friendship is not merely emotional comfort; it is a moral activity. A true friend acts as “another self”—a mirror through which we come to understand our own character.
Friends:
Encourage us to reason well
Correct our moral blind spots
Restrain us from excess and vice
Help us remain consistent with our values
In this sense, friendship becomes a training ground for virtue.
Friendship Cannot Be Manufactured
In an age of speed and convenience, we often want everything ready-made. But Aristotle reminds us that there is no store where friendship can be bought. Real friendship takes time, shared experiences, patience, and trust.
True friendship forms slowly, and when it does, it carries a quiet depth—
“I am unique to you, and you are unique to me.”
Such bonds cannot be multiplied endlessly; they can only be deepened.
Friends and the Good Life
Aristotle argues that happiness (eudaimonia) depends on two things:
Good fortune
Skill (developed excellence)
Good fortune may arrive unexpectedly, but without cultivated skill and character, we cannot make good use of it. To develop such skill, we need the support of others—especially friends. Friends help us refine our reasoning, strengthen our discipline, and avoid moral decline.
Even the wise and self-sufficient person needs friends—not out of weakness, but because human excellence is fulfilled in shared life.